The Great Revisions and Dystopia

I have to wonder at those who criticize movies that show a "dystopian future" because it reflects what they are doing NOW. We are already about there, as far as I can see it. The recent hue and cry from the right, condemning the movie, "Elysium" is a point in fact. I salute the makers of movies that actually show what can happen if we keep going in the direction in which we are heading. It is acceptable speculation.

I also applaud those who make movies and other media programs showing the TRUTH about our past and the nastiness that those in power try to keep hidden from us and our children. They want to revise our history, revise current events and even revise the direction in which they are trying to take us. They are loud, loathsome and lunatic and I fear them because they have a lot of people fooled.

This is why I am avoiding the news. I am so frustrated. I have lived some of this nastiness and know the truth about what came before me. I am sick of the far right trying to tell me that what I know to be true isn't. They have made more ridiculous statements about history, the structure of our government and our POTUS than I can count and the slimy hits keep on coming.

I am disappointed and dismayed by a Supreme Court that votes with the power and the money. I am weary of big-money and religious groups trying to change and revise the very fabric of our constitution. I am sickened by the fact that the SCOTUS could elect a dysfunctional president (Dubya) and gut one of the most moral acts ever passed into law.

I am tired of a bug-eyed, bought and paid for "scientist" trying to tell us that global warming isn't real when we see the effects all around us. I am tired of the power and wealth-grabbers telling me "not to worry because this won't affect you," while they scheme to steal our Social Security and take away any and all social programs that would benefit those who really need them.

 

I am sick of Wall Street, Pat Robertson, fracking, Monsanto, Ted Cruz, the Tea Party, Dominionists and the idea that rich, white, old men America is totally special. I am sickened by seeing a so-called Christian evangelist living in a $10.5 million dollar home while he exhorts older and less educated, mostly white Americans who believe him to send him money, money they need to live.

We are no longer the greatest nation on earth and it is time we changed that. We are becoming something...wrong. We need to step in and stop the madness, NOW. In other words, I am so freaking tired of the bullshit.

Soylent Green, anyone?

The De-Churching of Robin

That little girl with the bangs and the choir robe is me, about age 10. At that age, thanks to a much-loved but rigidly religious aunt, my sisters and I were in the church every time the door opened. I grew up among firm, bible-following believers. I don't think that these well-meaning folks ever realized just what this can do to a thinking child's self-esteem. I spent years judging my insides by the outsides of these "spiritually perfect" people, thinking of myself as falling woefully short of their standards.
Part of this confusion was my burgeoning OCD which demanded perfection or nothing of me. It took me decades to get past that to the point of controlling it. It is still with me in other, less self-demeaning forms. But it also put me on the road to questioning. When I became pregnant as a teen, and was treated as a disappointment and a major sinner, I really just wanted to run as far away from religion as I could. So I didn't attend church, but the indoctrination I received as a child stayed with me and I still believed with reservations.

I finally slipped into comfortable agnosticism. I was open to proof but found none. I started examining my own, perceived "spiritual" experiences and realized that nothing good had come from leaving it all up to the Universe. While I learned that I am not in control of anything or anyone but myself, I also learned the same goes for everyone else. There are no religious leaders with special powers or insight. They are all, as are we all, as human as the next person.

The final push came with the emergence of the "Moral Majority" and the Dominionists and their funding by the rich, old white boys' club. Religion has been used since the earliest recorded history to keep the populace in line. The fact that it is still being used in this way is upsetting. We are NOT a "Christian Nation." We are a nation that refuses, per our Constitution, to regulate the individual spirituality of our citizens. Read that amendment. Read the comments made over the first couple of decades by our earliest leaders. To turn our government into a theocracy would be to take a giant step backwards.

The worst part of this is that the old time religion I was taught as a child bears no resemblance to the self-serving, misogynistic, elitist, racist, homophobic crap I see coming out of the mouths of these, so-called, "good Christian" people. Where is the love? Where is the caring for the poor, the needy, the sick? Guess what? It is not good business, so those directives, supposedly from Christ, himself, are ignored.

Guess what else? Good moral values are NOT the sole province of the Christian religion. They are a matter of human decency and common sense. To act like they have a lock on morality shows that they have an arrogance that exceeds their worth. Their fear of women's strengths, alone, causes them to continue their fevered attempts to subjugate and regulate until their little brains (located about 6 inches below their belts) are fried. Worst yet, are the women that have turned against their sisters for gain or in the name of their fanaticism. Ann Coulter is a conservative whore. THERE! I said it. I pay little attention to the bimbettes on Fox Noise. In fact, I disregard Fox Noise, altogether.

Anyone who listened to that bombastic, ignorant rant by the father of Texas (Canadian) Republican, Ted Cruz, should have a good idea of what we are up against. That rant stirred up the base for these evil people. Their base, poor white people whose religion is their retreat and ignorant people whose beliefs are based on paranoia and misinformation, are then compelled to vote against their own best interests in the name of GAWD.

I make no secret of my atheism. I have found that most decent, thoughtful people, even those of faith, can accept that and have no problem with it. It is the evangelical, fundamentalist, far right-wing fanatics that are clamoring to make what I do or do not believe a matter of public policy and law.  It is hard for me to keep a civil tongue in my head when confronted with this horror masquerading as the ultimate good. The KKK uses Christianity as part of its raison d'etre. Hitler professed to be a Christian. Now we have these nimrods pushing the same envelope.

Any time you see a government trying to regulate the spirituality of its citizens, you are seeing a culture that is doomed. Look at the USSR who tried to force atheism on its populace. I fear we are not far behind them on the "collapsing civilization" trail. In my opinion, this kind of Christianity is as big a threat as all of Islam. I don't think any of it is much good if it takes away the ability of the individual to find their own way, spiritually.

I do not consider myself an "evangelist" for atheism. I am just as turned off by those trying to force their disbelief on the rest of the population as I am by the Dominionist bunch. But I fear that we may not have either choice if things go on as they are. My vote in 2014 takes on added urgency as I look towards what might be looming on the horizon if we don't stop the theocratic, financial and elitist madness.

I am 68 years old. I don't know how much of it I will have to face. I worry about my children and grandchildren. They deserve the freedom of/from religion that our Constitution promised. I fear for their futures. We are losing our middle class and starving children and the elderly in the name of Guns/God Over People. The GOP, with its new brand of theocratic bullshit, ain't so grand, anymore.

For the sake of whatever you believe or don't believe, go to the polls next year and VOTE as if your life depended on it because...it does.

Take It Easy On Yourself

Just a poem, today.

        Go Gently

 So much to do, so little life,
 Go gently, Love, go gently.
 Don't chase about for what isn't there,
 And it isn't, evidently.
 Forgive yourself your human flaws,
 Go sweetly, Love, go sweetly.
 And give yourself the benefit,
 Of living life, completely.
 Regrets are rocks that fill our beds,
 Go easy, Love, go easy.
 You've earned yourself a feather-top,
 Lie down and rest, go easy.
 Don't put yourself at war with life,
 Go lightly, Love, go lightly.
 Then find that peaceful place inside,
 Where all that is you glows brightly.
 For often what we wish could be,
 We pursue much too intently.
 Life will go the way it will.
 Go gently, Love. Go gently.

 

Robin Westbrook  08/06/2013

America Lost

This little mill house with the stone chimney used to be my home when I was in my teens. It was on what we call, in upstate SC, the Drayton "Mill Hill." It had a tin roof and the rain sounded wonderful. I went back to SC, recently, and found that the house was no more. It had burned and all that was left was some overgrown foundation markers.

To me, that house symbolizes our nation. We are so divisive, so gullible and easily led that any voice of reason is out-shouted by the far right and the equally offensive far left. I never laid claims to being a moderate, but I am beginning to believe that is what I am. I sure am sick of hearing people on the left disparage the POTUS. He is a good man trying to work in bad times.

I think we will survive but as what, I have no clue. We are no longer innocents, those of us who were raised to the tune of a history slanted and revised to leave out the worst of our offenses against peoples and the land. I no longer can support war in the name of misguided nationalism when I know it has more to do with the financial and territorial interests of the wealthy and powerful.

We are seeing the emergence of that "Military/Industrial Complex" threat about which President Eisenhower warned us. We are seeing the nastiness of fundamentalist religion via the Dominionists trying to convert our Constitution into another book of the bible and form a theocracy. If anyone would like to see how dystopian THAT future would be, just read Margaret Atwood's " The Handmaid's Tale," and shudder. Keep in mind, while reading it, that infertility among the white and privileged is on the rise.

Right now, we are being held back from any real progress by a group of brainwashing, scheming, nasty people called The Tea Party, The Koch Brothers, Rupert Murdoch, Karl Rove, Grover Norquist, Fox News and their congressional gang of obstructionists, Cantor, McConnell, Boehner, Cruz, Rubio, etc, ad nauseum. We have seen the ugly face of racism and ignorance and it is our congress, our police, our courts and, if we are honest, ourselves. We were complacent and it happened while we thought Uncle Sugar was taking care of it all.

We are trying, now, to woo the rest of the populace with a positive message when they have become addicted to the negative. Paranoia causes the poorest of whites, the neediest of the elderly, to vote against their own best interests, and that paranoia has been carefully cultivated. How can we overcome such a juggernaut? The spin machine of the far right is well-funded and very active. They have infiltrated our schools to teach ignorance, our media to spread lies and they are very good at what they do. We have to be stronger, we have to be more proactive and aggressive in delivering the truth and we have to be willing to keep on point.

If the far left, "Emo-Progs" are disappointed in the POTUS, Boo-fuken-Hoo! What did you expect? This man is swimming upstream against a flood. He is doing his best and he is savvy enough to know that compromise is supposed to be the way this government rolls. So we don't have universal healthcare but we do have the Affordable Care Act and that is a step in the right direction. We have no more DOMA. Which reminds me, you also forget that he has a Supreme Court that is out to further the interests of their far-right cronies. I am reminded of the line from the song, "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, And here I am, Stuck in the middle with you." If I were religious and believed in it, I would be praying for our President morning, noon and night.

I consider Barack Obama to be one of the most admirable and underestimated (by all but his enemies) president of my lifetime. But he needs the people and a workable congress. He is the President..NOT a dictator. I have watched him age and watched him care. I have seen the way the innocent and wounded cling to him. We have a real asset in this man if the thumb-sucking far left and the bigots would get off their high horses and work for and with him. The nation is changing. The financially upper-class white majority is becoming the minority. That they should be given license to control our nation with impunity is execrable. I am white. I used to be middle class. Now we are seniors fighting to maintain our independence thanks to the financial meltdown courtesy of Dubya and his king-makers. It is time we all became color-blind and immunized ourselves against the Bullshit.

I have a friend who is putting her energy where her mouth is. Sandy Young, a long-time friend in Texas is now the Chairman of the Medina County Democratic Party. She works hard and gets hate mail and calls because she is very blue in a large swatch of VERY red. Texas is the home of equal-opportunity racism, as you know. They hate both brown and black, equally. So what can the rest of us do?

I spend a lot of time trying to control my health issues, but I have this blog, a Facebook page, the know-how to contact and write letters to congressmen, senators and the editors of various media. I can talk to my neighbors. I can research, read and get the REAL facts. There are members of my husband's family that won't talk to me about the issues and that's OK..but they know where he and I both stand. Taking a stand and claiming it does make a difference, even if it makes others uncomfortable or even angry. We are fighting for our national lives. We are fighting for our infrastructure, our children's' futures, our educational system, the comfort and health of our elderly and disabled and the needs of young families. We are fighting for true justice, for peace, for tolerance, for hope, for real progress and for the America that we thought we had...the America we can make better and more real for ALL of us. I have to believe in this and want it for all of us or I and we don't deserve it at all.

Ah, Love!

Ah, Romance! New love is full of it. It is passionate, dreamy, thrilling, a taste of chocolate and fine wine and it burns with a fire that is too hot not to cool down, eventually. When it does, there had better be some sustaining fuel in the mix to keep the real warmth in the relationship.

I used to think that the end-all and be-all of my existence would be to have a handsome man love me to distraction. And that is nice if you know what love really is. I have been loved by two very fine men. With one, unfortunately we were missing too much of our own inner selves to sustain the relationship. With my current hubby, we have been a learning experience for each other and ourselves and our embers have found their sustenance. I am trying to track down this quote that I remember from a book about married love I read a while back. "The dream of love is never as natural, ordinary and sustaining as is the reality of love."

Too often we lust after the dream of love without first checking out the reality of love. Those of us who looked for that emotional high to last forever were to be disappointed and it is easy to blame the other person when things take their natural course. Roses and champagne and breathless trysts don't sustain themselves for long. And if you don't have the right kind of self-love, the kind that depends on no one else for its existence, then you can almost bet money on the relationship going bottoms-up.

I obsessed about one man in my life. He is the father of my first born and he always made me tingle inside. He was a sexy dude in his day and I laid my self-worth, for too long, at the altar of his acceptance. Boy, was I an idiot! My first marriage was ill-advised, a liaison between two people with low self-esteem who hoped they could add up to one whole person and it just doesn't work that way. That marriage, not the husband, but the marriage, literally brought out the worst in me. I used the image of love like currency to get my way. I was unkind and fed his need to feel inferior, or to be a martyr.

I found myself drawn to my current husband on many levels. We were friends before we were lovers and our road has been anything but smooth. We had a lot of baggage from our former marriages and we had a lot to learn, but we were both older and wiser and, with a lot of stumbles and recoveries, we made it. I wanted the passion and romance to last forever because I was still counting on the "dream of love" rather than the reality, but I was slowly learning.

I think it hit home really hard on the day I was planning a short road trip and I came outside to see my husband hard at work on the car. I really was able to finally find an explanation for the wonderful thing we had found. He reported to me that I had gas, good pressure in the tires, all the fluids were at good levels and my oil was fresh and clean. He made sure I had the my gas card and my AAA card and some cash because I couldn't always count on the card. I felt warm all over, like coming out of a cold cave into a spot of sunshine. He didn't sparkle and have fangs, he had on a dirty tee shirt and baggy jeans, and there wasn't a long-stemmed rose in sight. But I felt truly and thoroughly loved in the best way.

Now, I haven't sat around and let him do all the loving. We both have worked hard to have a little bit of security, we have sat by each other's bedside during hospital stays, we have even gently forced each other in the matters of health to seek out the doctor's advice. We worked hard, in hot, steamy, Florida weather at jobs that were physically challenging. When my husband lost his only child to suicide, I moved away from my own family so that he could find extra support down here where part of his family lived and to try to leave some of the triggering memories behind. It wasn't easy for me and still isn't. I don't particularly like Florida, but where he is, there is home, so I work to bloom where I am planted. Thank goodness for the Internet that enables me to keep in contact with my children.

I watch my two raised children. One seems to have given up on ever having a partner and the other has put all her eggs in one very inadequate and insubstantial basket. It's their life, they are in their 40's and there is nothing I can do to open their eyes to the possibilities. My biggest regret in life is that I did not instill in them the self-esteem they needed in order to be in a successful relationship, but I refuse to blame myself for what happens to them now.

I can't fix them. I cannot control what happens to them or stop them from making the same old mistakes I made. I can only give them my unconditional love and hope they will eventually learn to love themselves in the same way. Those sweet words and grapplings beneath the sheets do not put a roof over our heads, help give us strength when we have fears for our lives and health, make sure the utilities are on and, yes, make sure that the car is suitable for a road trip for wifey. You can have both, but if you only have the sweet words, etc., then the house is made of cards and the wind keeps blowing.

The making a living and supporting the household thing should not to be taken as mundane and unimportant. In fact, when it takes hard, physical work, doing things outside one's comfort zone (such as continuing one's education and saving money) and squeezing every penny, then you come to appreciate how loving an act that kind of support really is.

I am not the biggest fan of M. Scott Peck because I cannot dismiss the reality of soul mates or romantic love which, carefully nurtured, can last, if not as passionately as at first, for the duration of a marriage with laughter and warmth. But, I did find some bits of real wisdom in "The Road Less Traveled." One quote that speaks to me is, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” This is what I mean by leaving our comfort zones and it can happen with both members of a relationship. It might mean a strengthening of a relationship or it might mean an ending to it. But both outcomes can be positive and healing.

Another truism from Peck's book is this one; “Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice, and a PROFOUND tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there.”   When we wear the blinders of rationalization and justification for our own missteps or those of our partner, then we are doing neither a favor. Until we are willing to see the truth about our loved one, how can we truly say we love them, because we don't really KNOW them? The reason many wear the blinders is because they are afraid of finding that the love isn't real or they are just frightened of being alone or being seen as unable to have a partner. A life with someone that is full of struggle, strife, fears, anxiety, dramas, financial want and crises, should be examined with eyes wide open. Yes, hard times come to all, but when they keep repeating themselves because of the inaction or continued actions of one or the other, then something is wrong and something being defined as love is NOT really love but a kind of dependence and desperation.

If I were able to reach out and heal the ones I love of their self-induced agonies, I would. But I remember me and how hard it was to find that place in myself where Robin loved Robin enough to be able to really love another adult. (Selflessly loving my children was never the problem. I think Mothers are hard-wired, though, as I was, sometimes very clumsy.) If I remember correctly, I was also in my 40's. Some of us learn faster than others. And, to quote Peck again (although this was not his own thought or very original), "Life is difficult." I often want to follow that with a "Well, DUH."

It is funny how you can glean bits of wisdom from the narcissistic writings of self-proclaimed "experts" such as Peck. It's funny that I, an atheist, can even find bits of wisdom, here and there, in the Bible when I read it as literature. But my best textbook, teacher and source of enlightenment is examining life and love as it really is. Here's hoping the lost, lonely and those in pain will read their own books of life, without the blinders of the dream of love, and learn what they need from what they find there. Then, as the last decades of life enfold them, they will be on a path that includes the best kinds of love there are.